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Women's world: Quarreling parents dismay daughter

forgiveness on Articles - Dr. Dana Ruiz-Sesante

Cindy Ruiz Garaña, R.N.

Dear Cindy,

MY parent’s marriage is on the brink of a break-up. Fights and anger fill our gloomy home. They are going to sell the house and plan to divide the pay-off between them. It’s over, actually.

It was difficult for me to decide whether I would stay with either mom or dad after their split-up.

The situation is confusing. I witnessed their relationship crumble into pieces. Throughout the crisis, my respect for my parents diminished. I blamed them for the break-up of the family. They had severe marital problems I couldn’t understand. How will I cope with it and learn to forgive them?


Dear Myra,

In adverse circumstances like a separation, it could be difficult to honor or respect our parents. Some have experienced abandonment, rejection, physical abuse or desertion. These hurts harden our hearts and make us hate and look down on our parents.

Myra, the key is forgiveness. God allows every single thing that happens in our lives for a purpose. Why does he allow us to be hurt by our parents? Only the Lord knows. Our duty is to honor them as our God-designated parents. We can do this with a forgiving heart.

The more we forgive and pray for our parents, the more we are able to love them despite their shortcomings. Forgive. Only then will the respect for our parents return and grow.

Forgiveness plays a major role in our family relationships. As we forgive our parents, God forgives us of our sin against them.

Your parents need your forgiveness, understanding and gratitude. Parents are more often than not taken for granted. Even though they are separated, they will always be there for you. But we need to thank them for who they are.

Our feelings of appreciation must not remain unsaid. It should be translated into action. A simple gesture of thanks by giving flowers or greeting cards to your mother even if there’s isn’t any special occasion. A buss or a hug is also expressions of acceptance and affection. These simple acts of gratitude show that you value their loving efforts for your own good.

God bless,


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